Something I haven't really spoken about in great detail on my blog is the fact I'm getting married next year. I just think there is enough wedding blogs/sites/magazines telling brides how they should behave, how they should feel, and how they should look, and to be honest I think it's a load of crap. There's enough stress placed on couples with shows like 'Four Weddings' and 'Don't Tell The Bride' brainwashing them into believing their wedding has to be perfect or it's a massive failure. Because of this, I've decided to write a kind of alternative wedding post- The worst things about getting married (in my opinion anyway.)
1) 'How old are you?'
This one probably won't apply to all engaged couples, but it is something that frequently annoys me. I got engaged on my 19th birthday. You won't believe the amount of snide comments aimed at me, talking about how I was stupid, how it wouldn't last, how they've been together 5 years, and we've only been together 1 so why should I get engaged before them? The last time I checked, two people deciding to get married wasn't anyone's business but their own. Luckily for me and my boyfriend, our whole family approved of us getting engaged (as long as it was a long engagement haha) so the rude comments didn't bother me so much. I just hate how people look down on us because we're young. I would get strangers seeing my engagement ring and the first thing they would ask was my age. My parents were married by the age of twenty and are celebrating their 25th this year. I think you only have to watch an episode of Jeremy Kyle to realize age doesn't necessarily equal emotional maturity. Yes, we may one day get a divorce, but so could a couple in their 50's.
2) 'She managed to catch you then?'
Or something along those lines. I'm sure most brides would have experienced this irritating comment at some point before they're married. No, I did not 'catch' him, 'hook' him, 'trick' him. We made a decision as adults to get married. I don't know why women are always perceived as sneaky, wedding obsessed individuals who will do anything to get a ring on their fingers. Sometimes it is the man who suggests marriage first, you know.
3) 'When are you having children?'
Again, another personal, and quite rude question. First of all, assuming because I'm a woman that I must want children. Second of all, the question never really being aimed at my fiance, because he's a man and obviously focused on his career. It's not so much this question that annoys than the response to my 'we're not sure if we want kids yet.' 'What do you mean, of course you want children. You'll change your mind when you're a bit older.' Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you knew me better than I know myself.
4) 'How much was your ring?'
I hate this question so much. I don't mind people asking to look at my engagement ring, but when they follow up with that question, I just think it's so rude. I've not even asked how much my ring is. I honestly don't care how much it is; as long as the stones don't fall out every two minutes and it doesn't turn my finger green, I'm quite happy. Again, it's the pressure of the wedding industry telling us that our boyfriends must spend a months wages, or whatever it is, on a bit of jewelry. There's an element of competition between brides which makes us feel embarrassed if our rings are anything less than £2,000.
5) 'You have to take your husbands name?'
Sorry? Just a little reminder that we are now in the twenty first century. The question of whose name to take when I get married is one that has me thinking quite deeply. I often spend hours on the Offbeat Bride site as they often discuss matters such as these. Will taking my husbands name contradict the fact I identify as a feminist? But then, feminism exists so that woman have the freedom to make a choice, whether that choice is to take your husbands name or not. This is going quite deep into this argument, and there is also the simple fact that I actually quite like my last name, and if both me and my sister choose to change our names when and if we marry, there will be no more 'Webbs' in the family. I haven't made my choice yet, and I still have a year to decide, but there is an important word in this sentence and that is 'choice' so I don't appreciate people telling me that I HAVE to do something.
Despite my complaing blog post, It's not all negative stuff when you get engaged. For example, an engagement ring seems to scare away away creeps that loiter near in bars. I also have something to point at when Beyonce's Single Ladies comes on. And instead of arguing about whose turn it is to do the washing, me and my boyfriend now argue about what our first dance song will be. Plus, there's endless supplies of cake samples at wedding fairs.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. Let me know if you want me to write anymore 'alternative' wedding posts. I have a Wedding Fair survival guide in my head at the minute.
